I wanted to share with you something amazing that just happened here:
I tucked my sweet baby into bed.
Yes, that is it. That is what is so amazing. You may ask what is so glorious or incredible about tucking a baby into bed, but if you had walked in my shoes, you would understand. 8 months ago, I didnt know if my baby would be here today. Statistically speaking, he had almost no chance of survival. But in my heart, I knew he was a fighter and I had to give him a chance. A miracle happened on July 29, 2008. My baby was born...and he was born ALIVE. We didn't know how long we had with him so we prayed hard that he would continue to fight. And he did. He fought on. There were times I thought we were loosing him, but again...he fought on.
I remember laying in my bed after my water broke and talking to my sister. With tear filled eyes I told her how scared I was. How I didn't know what was going to happen. Was my baby going to live? Was he going to be ok? If not, how would I deal with the loss of my child? Those were the some of the hardest days of my life.
So tonight, I took my sweet Travis to his crib, put on his jammies and monitor, kissed him all over, and asked him if he knew how much I loved him. I ask him this daily, sometimes many times a day. I know he will never full understand how deep my love for him goes, but I hope that he realizes that he is a miracle! I knelt down next to his crib on my knees and thanked God over and over for giving me this miracle. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thanked God and kissed my sweet baby's forehead. There is nothing in this world more perfect than that child. He is my everything and then some. I never knew a love like this existed and I know that nothing in the world can take that away from me.
I used to wonder "why me"..."why my baby"...but now I just wonder how I got so lucky. What did I do to deserve this blessing? Whatever it was, it must have been good. So as I tucked my little boy in, I quitely celebrated him and all that he has achieved so far. I can't wait to see the many more achievements ahead. I am the luckiest mother alive!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
GI Doc
HI EVERYONE!
Friday we had an appointment with the Gastroenterologist at Children's Hospital. I was hoping to get some answers or advice as far as the feedings go but it honestly felt like a waste of time. She basically told us that she thinks he will do better when he starts solids and that we can start as soon as he is supporting his head. She reccommended that we start with just a little baby food on our fingers right now to get him used to the idea. So we tried a little bit of rice cereal mixed with sweet potatoe and he loved it! It was pretty cute! She is going to follow up with him monthly for a while and also going to try to get him in for a swallow test to make sure he is not mircro aspirating when he eats. Otherwise she thought he looked great!
After his appointment he had to have bloodwork done for two reasons. 1) To make sure that he is still doing fine without the added electrolytes to his milk and 2) To check his iron levels to see if we still need to give him iron supplements. Probably won't know the results of those until Monday or later. It would definitely be nice to have one less med to give him. We are already down to 4!!
Feedings are still a challenge, but I would say they are going OK. We have shortened the amount of time he spends on the pump to about 7 hours and have added one more feeding throughout the day, so we are slowly weaning him off the pump and feeding tube altogether. This is a very slow process and I really don't know when he will not need it altogether but I am hoping that once he starts taking solids and less milk, we will be more successful!
Grandma and Papa and Auntie were over last night. Travis loves having his family around. Grandma is flying to Norway today! And Papa flew to Las Vegas! Travis' newest accomplishment is his ability to sit on my hip and support his upper body! May seem small but its exciting to see him getting stronger!
Friday we had an appointment with the Gastroenterologist at Children's Hospital. I was hoping to get some answers or advice as far as the feedings go but it honestly felt like a waste of time. She basically told us that she thinks he will do better when he starts solids and that we can start as soon as he is supporting his head. She reccommended that we start with just a little baby food on our fingers right now to get him used to the idea. So we tried a little bit of rice cereal mixed with sweet potatoe and he loved it! It was pretty cute! She is going to follow up with him monthly for a while and also going to try to get him in for a swallow test to make sure he is not mircro aspirating when he eats. Otherwise she thought he looked great!
After his appointment he had to have bloodwork done for two reasons. 1) To make sure that he is still doing fine without the added electrolytes to his milk and 2) To check his iron levels to see if we still need to give him iron supplements. Probably won't know the results of those until Monday or later. It would definitely be nice to have one less med to give him. We are already down to 4!!
Feedings are still a challenge, but I would say they are going OK. We have shortened the amount of time he spends on the pump to about 7 hours and have added one more feeding throughout the day, so we are slowly weaning him off the pump and feeding tube altogether. This is a very slow process and I really don't know when he will not need it altogether but I am hoping that once he starts taking solids and less milk, we will be more successful!
Grandma and Papa and Auntie were over last night. Travis loves having his family around. Grandma is flying to Norway today! And Papa flew to Las Vegas! Travis' newest accomplishment is his ability to sit on my hip and support his upper body! May seem small but its exciting to see him getting stronger!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Pulmonary Appointment
Travis had his month Pulmonary appointment on Friday, which happened to be my birthday. I was really hoping that for my birthday, my baby boy wouldn't need oxygen any more, but that was not the case. His saturations dropped to the 80's without oxygen, so we will continue with it for at least a month longer. He was weighed and is now 13lbs 8.5oz!! I know....hard to believe right?! I never imagined my little one pound baby would be as chubby as he is! The doc couldn't belive it and even asked if he was weighed with his diaper on (no, he wasnt!).
I did find out that Travis' Kidney Reflux is severe. The severity of this condition is rated in Grades from I-V. On one side, our little man has a Grade II or III. On the other, a Grade V. In most cases, this has to be repaired with surgery. I am so scared about this, so we need lots of prayers now. My biggest fear is not actually the surgery but the damage to the kidneys as a result of the reflux. He has a doctors appointment tomorrow so I will be asking more about this then.
For my birthday Mom and Jennifer took me shopping and forced me to get something for myself :-) I still ended up using some of my "b-day money" to buy Travis a high chair. I did end up getting 2 new shirts and a pair of jeans...to wear to appointments I suppose since that is the only time I get out of the house. It was so fun to be with my sister and mommybelle though. Daddy and Papa took care of Travis which was nice. Its the longest I have been away from him since he has come home, so that was tough, but we all survived! Grandma and Papa bought Travis a walker. Yes, I know, he is far from walking, but he actually sat it in pretty well, his little legs still dangling an inch or so from the floor, ha ha.
It was a great birthday weekend and as always it was wonderful to be surrounded by my incredible family. I am not quite sure what I would do without them, they are the best! Meika (our dog) went to spend a week with Grandma and Papa on their 25 acres with the other 3 dogs, chickens, cats....etc. I am sure she will have a great time! Thats about all for now! Its almost time for bed!
I did find out that Travis' Kidney Reflux is severe. The severity of this condition is rated in Grades from I-V. On one side, our little man has a Grade II or III. On the other, a Grade V. In most cases, this has to be repaired with surgery. I am so scared about this, so we need lots of prayers now. My biggest fear is not actually the surgery but the damage to the kidneys as a result of the reflux. He has a doctors appointment tomorrow so I will be asking more about this then.
For my birthday Mom and Jennifer took me shopping and forced me to get something for myself :-) I still ended up using some of my "b-day money" to buy Travis a high chair. I did end up getting 2 new shirts and a pair of jeans...to wear to appointments I suppose since that is the only time I get out of the house. It was so fun to be with my sister and mommybelle though. Daddy and Papa took care of Travis which was nice. Its the longest I have been away from him since he has come home, so that was tough, but we all survived! Grandma and Papa bought Travis a walker. Yes, I know, he is far from walking, but he actually sat it in pretty well, his little legs still dangling an inch or so from the floor, ha ha.
It was a great birthday weekend and as always it was wonderful to be surrounded by my incredible family. I am not quite sure what I would do without them, they are the best! Meika (our dog) went to spend a week with Grandma and Papa on their 25 acres with the other 3 dogs, chickens, cats....etc. I am sure she will have a great time! Thats about all for now! Its almost time for bed!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Preemie Power!
I hope you all like the new blog! I got busy this morning and made it much nicer!
Yesterday was a busy day for us! First our dietician came and we talked about Travis' feedings which seem to be going very well! He is still on a feeding pump for 1o hours at night so the next step will be to shorten the time on the pump and add one more feeding during the day. Eventually, this will mean that there will be no pump...and hopefully soon, no feeding tube! We are moving in the right direction, but want to keep it slow as we want him to be successful. I dont have an updated weight since we will be getting that tomorrow at his pulmonary appointment so we will find out then.
After seeing Gail, we had a couple of special visitors!! Audra and Tucker came to play with us! I met Audra in the NICU when Travis was just a few weeks old. She introduced herself to me and told me all about her miracle baby Tucker! We would soon learn how much alike our babies were. Tucker was 3 months early (born on May 10, 2008) and has had severe lung issues like Travis. He had a rough NICU ride and was there for 7 months! Aurda and I really counted on one another when our boys were there to lend support and love. I don't know what I would have done without her! I came to her with all of my questions and she always had an answer. "Yes, Tucker has been there, done that!" She's an angel, and Tucker is one tough cookie! We used to joke that we would get our boys out of that NICU on the same day becacuse we wouldn't be able to survive without each other there! Well guess what?! It happened!! Tucker and Travis both left the NICU on December 18th! What are the chances!?!
So we FINALLY got together after 2-1/2 months! I am so glad we did, but just wishing we would have done it sooner! It was so great to have someone to talk to who really understands all the challenges that we face! Tucker and Travis really wore each other out! We went for a walk to Chipotle nearby and sat outside (to avoid germs!) and ate our food. As we were scarfing our food down, Audra said, "Well you know we are mommies when we scarf our food before the boys wake up!" HA HA, so true! We probably got some funny looks since we had two boys with oxygen, but hey, we were having too good of a time to notice anyway!
'
Here are some pictures of the two boys together. Wow, how amazing is it to have two amazing miracles side by side!? We are very blessed and lucky Mommies and we definitely know it!! Enjoy!
Pretty hard to believe these chunky boys were both less than 2 pounds!!!
Yesterday was a busy day for us! First our dietician came and we talked about Travis' feedings which seem to be going very well! He is still on a feeding pump for 1o hours at night so the next step will be to shorten the time on the pump and add one more feeding during the day. Eventually, this will mean that there will be no pump...and hopefully soon, no feeding tube! We are moving in the right direction, but want to keep it slow as we want him to be successful. I dont have an updated weight since we will be getting that tomorrow at his pulmonary appointment so we will find out then.
After seeing Gail, we had a couple of special visitors!! Audra and Tucker came to play with us! I met Audra in the NICU when Travis was just a few weeks old. She introduced herself to me and told me all about her miracle baby Tucker! We would soon learn how much alike our babies were. Tucker was 3 months early (born on May 10, 2008) and has had severe lung issues like Travis. He had a rough NICU ride and was there for 7 months! Aurda and I really counted on one another when our boys were there to lend support and love. I don't know what I would have done without her! I came to her with all of my questions and she always had an answer. "Yes, Tucker has been there, done that!" She's an angel, and Tucker is one tough cookie! We used to joke that we would get our boys out of that NICU on the same day becacuse we wouldn't be able to survive without each other there! Well guess what?! It happened!! Tucker and Travis both left the NICU on December 18th! What are the chances!?!
So we FINALLY got together after 2-1/2 months! I am so glad we did, but just wishing we would have done it sooner! It was so great to have someone to talk to who really understands all the challenges that we face! Tucker and Travis really wore each other out! We went for a walk to Chipotle nearby and sat outside (to avoid germs!) and ate our food. As we were scarfing our food down, Audra said, "Well you know we are mommies when we scarf our food before the boys wake up!" HA HA, so true! We probably got some funny looks since we had two boys with oxygen, but hey, we were having too good of a time to notice anyway!
'
Here are some pictures of the two boys together. Wow, how amazing is it to have two amazing miracles side by side!? We are very blessed and lucky Mommies and we definitely know it!! Enjoy!
Pretty hard to believe these chunky boys were both less than 2 pounds!!!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Surprise Visit from Nicolie and Kaden!
Today, one of my bestest friends Nicole surprised me with a visit!! I havent seen here in months and also got to meet her precious new little on Kaden, who is a month old! Travis was hilarious with Kaden and was trying to steal his paci and beat him up. We already know who the bully is. Looks like we have our hands full! It was so good to see them and visit. I wish they could have stayed longer but we will take anything we can get!
Here are some pics to enjoy!
Auntie Jen and Sarah also came for a visit yesterday and they had lots of fun with Travis. We made dinner and cupcakes for dessert...apparently cupcakes are the new thing! Here is a picture of Sarah with Travie. The last time she saw him he was just a little thing!
Travis has been doing really well on his feedings for the past few days, but we have discovered that he only likes fresh breastmilk and not the previously frozen stuff. This is tough since my supply is way low right now. I am trying everything to build it back up but it doesnt seem to be working very well. I want to give my baby the world and this is pretty hard on me right now, but I am doing the best I can. Hope everyone had as great a weekend as we have!!
Oh and here is a bonus picture....just cuz hes too darn cute!!
Here are some pics to enjoy!
Auntie Jen and Sarah also came for a visit yesterday and they had lots of fun with Travis. We made dinner and cupcakes for dessert...apparently cupcakes are the new thing! Here is a picture of Sarah with Travie. The last time she saw him he was just a little thing!
Travis has been doing really well on his feedings for the past few days, but we have discovered that he only likes fresh breastmilk and not the previously frozen stuff. This is tough since my supply is way low right now. I am trying everything to build it back up but it doesnt seem to be working very well. I want to give my baby the world and this is pretty hard on me right now, but I am doing the best I can. Hope everyone had as great a weekend as we have!!
Oh and here is a bonus picture....just cuz hes too darn cute!!
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